Tell her, if you rlly like her and want her.

*You should always say how you feel, I think. Because, if there is a rejection then that is the worst case scenario and you’ll learn and grow from it. I would say go for it, you can’t always protect yourself from getting hurt and as much as it stinks it’s apart of life… I would rather get hurt going after something I want, than get hurt wishing I had.

I'm sorry i can't read minds or do stuff exactly how you want me to. Don't pout anymore and neither would i allow you to go MIA and not reply me! You're incredibly awesome and you know that right? :)

Lotz of lurf,
Rayray~

Cause its so saddening.

I think i will ignore all texts and calls from my phone. Except for my mum's call.
Cause its the best way out. Till when? I do not know.
When time comes, i will start replying again. Every single thing is stressing me out.
I don't feel happy, i'm sad. No one knows. No one can understand.
I'm blocking out everything, every single thought of you.


And yati has gone to work for someone else. :(

No one will help me to open the door when i go out and come back anymore.
No one will help me to find my things when i could not find them anymore.
No one will nag at me when i messed up my cardboard and asked me to tidy it but will do it herself.
No one will prepare my food for me anymore.
No one will ask me to not eat infront of the com anymore.
No one will talk to her bf and asked me not to tell my mother anymore.
No one will go downstairs and asked me what i want to buy anymore.
No one will help me to find my clothes and fold it nicely and put it into my bag for me anymore.
No one will ask me to wake her up when she take a nap secretly anymore.
And the list goes on and on...

I tidied the bed today for the first time of my 16years. I've to keep and fold the clothes so that my mother wouldn't have to do so much.
Even before i was born, i have a maid. I don't have to worry about anything. I don't have to do anything on my own. And i've become so dependent on maids.

Now i have to rely on my own, cause no one will be there to help me anymore.
I'll be left alone at home, no one for me to talk to. No one for me to disturb.
The emptiness suck, and i feel like crying now :'(

Cause every second with you is a bonus.

Someone is going to skudai tomorrow, i'll miss you :(
Ok i thought that Skudai was in china k! So malu hahah.
You better come back in one piece! :D

U19 training on saturday at 10am!
First match is on 1st dec.
Should i go hiatus?

I suck.

Watched 2012 today. Talked about some GROSS stuff.
Reached home around 8plus.
U19 trng on saturday in the morning :(
I'll be sooooooooo tired :(
Ok, i don't know why but i'm having fever!
I know again, but not that i want to be sick! :(
Fernanda reminded me that (tomorrow, which means today is 26th) is ___________'s birthday.
And i went, "I don't really care." Fernanda agree too! NICE ONE FERNANDA!

Short and sweet.

I'm so lazy to blog so i shall just summarise everyth.

1: We got 3rd for alumni cup. No, no prize.
2: I wasn't allowed to join outside team. Have to join volleysports.
3: Life is boring, i got nothing to do.
4: Who want to recommend job to me! :(
5: U19 is from 1st dec to 15th dec. At jurong west sports hall.

Spaces between fingers, who will be the one to fill them.

If nothing is impossible, what about you and me.

Ystd was tiring. Went to queenstown sec for a little bit of training and friendly.
Then went to haising cat to play, kinda fun but tiring.
Ate breakfast+lunch+dinner at whitesands.
Went home around 6 and reached home at 7plus.

Stayed at home the whole day today to restore my energy :P
There's alumni cup tomorrow, WE CAN DO IT EVEN WITHOUT YOUR SETTING!
We don't have to rely on your setting. Aww so sad.

Its just how amazing i keep checking my contacts list to see if you're online, which i know you wouldn't be. It has became a habit for me.

If i could tell you.

Went fernanda's house to stay over. Jocelyn too.
Cards, drink, and tv. Slept around 4plus. And got woken up at 8+!
Was feeling really tired but no, no sleeping anymore. :(
Jocelyn went to switch on th tv, the curtains, and the light!
Fernanda and i was "lai chuang-ing" for very long. Jocelyn went at 11am.
And then. Breakfast, tv, computer, sleep, tv, dinner, drink, tv.
Left her house around 11pm and reached home after 45mins. :)

Its 4.20am now, and i'm very tired but not sleeping still.
I've been having fever for idk how many days already, and its not recovering :(
I'm gonna stay home later, and face this com the whole day.

The mind controls the head.

I'm back from the chalet! I'm so tired right now :(
We cycled all the way from east coast to changi village and then to downtown east.
Spent a total of 7hours riding, butt super pain!
It was fun and yet tiring, plus i had alumni trng in the morning!
Rode under the rain, and i'm having fever since idk when :(

Left the chalet around 6plus and reached pasir ris 7am.
I felt like a 'lost bird' walking to and fro without knowing whats the unit.
Waited for Carolyn and we cabbed to jurong west sports complex.
Watched match and went to jurong point to eat. Went to slack and play ball.
And went back to jp to meet veronica. Kavis and wanjing came along too.
We talked and talked for idk how long. And talked some things out.
Went home around 8plus.

Graduation day tomorrow :(
And its 10am in the morning, kill me man.
Might be ton-ing at fernanda's house tomorrow! :)


The truth have been revealed.
Why is everyone so affected about it.
Now we all know what kind of person she is.
Its so saddening to have such a friend.

If words mean anything..

Will not be posting till i come back from chalet.
And i'll lock my blog after that, if i remember :)

Over.

Long time since i updated.
Have been suffering for severe tummyache for the past two days.
And am better now! :)

Alumni training on saturday morning and off to CHALET at east coast.
Who wanna volunteer to ton outside with me on monday? :)
Or should i go to the 'M' party? I don't know.
Might be going for some sort of training/match(?) at queenstown next thurs.
(Fyi: Outside team haha.)

Reaching the end.

Chinese tomorrow, wish me luck everyone! Hahaha.
Hopefully can get A2, i'm fine with B3 though :)

There's blood in my phlegm, make my throat damn pain :(
K, i'm going to sleep already. Or else i'll be dozing off during my paper tomorrow.
HAHA.
Goodnight yo! :D

All the memories are filled of perfect tattered pain.

I'm alone at home :(
There's no food to eat, hungry :(

Chinese papers on tuesday, and i've not revised anything at all! I'm so dead.
I'm already in hoilday mood since long long ago :/
I think i'll get a b3 again :(
Science mcq on wednesday and it marks the end of Os!!!!!! :D:D:D:D
Its so dumb, go to school at 2pm just for an hour! Waste of time.


I might forget your actions, your laughter, your smile,
The way you look at me, the days spent together, but i'll never forget, that i loved you.

Alone.

Sick, again. Sigh :(
I played texas poker every single day, and its boring me.
Life is so meaningless. I've so much problems, but who can i tell?
Its killing me. I'm breaking down.
It really suck living in this world.
If the world is going to end, i'll be first to die instead of the last.
Living in this world is causing me too much suffering.

Ps : Blog going on private.
Tag with email to be invited.
By next week.

Training.

Went for training today.
Do fitness with them, can die :(
Super GEK!!!!! Hahah.
Run too, drop dk how many hundred of balls.
I bet i'll wake up tomorrow with muscle ache everywhere.
Dk if i should go play l4d tomorrow night with fernanda and others.

Hi sweetheart.

Going for trng tomorrow 8.30-5.30.
Gonna meet them for breakfast at 7am.
I doubt i'll be able to wake up in time. Its going to 2am now :(

A leopard will never change its spots.

Bitch, don't spout nonsense la. -.-
Only your DEAR girl will listen to you k. Fucking pissed off.
Lying is your forte, fucking hypocrite. If you're such a good actor (oh sorry actress), then go join mediacorp la.
Oh wrong again, go to other country la. S.U.C.K.E.R.
I dare you to not come back to singapore anymore. You're such a loser.
I bet you will give an excuse AGAIN. (Emphasis on the AGAIN).
Fucking disgusted by you. Who's the one tolerating who.
What are you best at. Backstabbing people? Act pitiful? Flirt girls?
Aww, i feel so sorry for you. Go ahead and complain to those who believe you.
I wonder why is there such a person like you in this wold. You shame vb, shame yourself!
Other people don't know you, but we know! Know exactly what kind of person you are.

Dead.

Ss is a killer, chem is (idk what to say).
Anyway i didn't do the section C for chem at all. 20marks gone lol.
I did the paper for less than 10mins. How pro.

History and dnt tomorrow, i'm so dead.
Have not memorise anyth yet and have not study dnt.
Confirm F9 for science and ch.

And i most probably will retain, sigh :(

Burn and die.

I've not successfully memorise anyth yet for social studies tomorrow :(
Have to reach school by 745 :(
And worst is, second paper is at 2pm!! Total waste of time.
I'm so gonna fail ch :(

I think i'll wake up in the morning to study sigh.
Hopefully i'll be able to memorise.

Good luck everyone!
3 days, 5papers to go.

Im free now and it pains my heart.

Photos from 30th oct 2009 :

This and those 8photos below was taken through burst shots, I DIDN'T KNOW CAN!

Thanks to THAT PERSON who tell me, "No, they're seeing pictures."

Alot more photos, but im just too lazy to upload. For more, go to facebook and search for me :)

Fernanda's and my phone! :)

-----------

Fill my heart, remove the scar. Its empty now.

Every msge i get, i hope its from you. How pathetic does that make me?

I'd give anyth for you. It'd been a long time, but no i can't, not that idw to.

What can i do, please tell me..