A new route.

Hurt.

2011-05-30T01:51:00.000+08:00

I dont wanna feel this way.. I can't do this.
Its hurting me so much.

formspring.me

2011-05-26T23:50:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/merabel

Tumblr.

2011-05-21T16:42:00.000+08:00

Ppl who bothers to read every single thing in my tumblr is someone who i will cherish <3

One day.

2011-05-21T01:30:00.002+08:00

I always wish i can lie down and gaze at the stars with someone i love.

I wish.

2011-05-14T03:04:00.002+08:00

I wish i found love.

Someone special.

2011-05-12T22:11:00.000+08:00

Went for appointment ystd and the doctor said i can stop dripping the eyedrops and wear contacts again next week hehehe :D:D:D:D
He said i got high chance of getting qing guang yan. IDK WHATS THE ENG WORD FOR IT!
Even the doctor use the chinese term, so its ok hahahaha.

---

Waiting for someone who's able to make my heart race.
I think its you...

Sincerity.

2011-05-02T23:58:00.002+08:00

It's all about sincerity.

What's love.

2011-05-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

Surprised by how much i actually mean to you.
1/100?

Day 1 of 30.

2011-05-02T04:29:00.000+08:00

First day of specs, 29days more to go to be able to wear contacts again.
Eyes infection suck, so pain and torturing.
I'm still awake at this ungodly time to wait till 5am to drip my eyedrop.
Talking about eyedrop, i dont get why does the eyedrop flow down from eyes to my throat.
ITS SO BITTER :(((((

Ok so the reasons why i dont update this blog frequently:
1. I'm too lazy to.
2: I dont have much to say because my life ain't that interesting and everything that i wanna say its already on my twitter.

---

I really dont like it when ppl say stuff when they're angry and then apologise after that.
Sorry just doesnt help after saying it for so many times.

Indescribable feelings.

2011-04-19T08:11:00.000+08:00

I've a fragile heart. Don't come near if you can't take good care of it.

Specially dedicated to youuuu~

2011-04-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

Thank you so much for helping me with my saikang work. I'm thinking you'd probably see this so yeahh.
Thankssssssssssssssssssssss<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 ^^

Confused.

2011-04-17T22:57:00.001+08:00

I dont really know what i want now. I dont want to hurt anyone :/
I need time, give me some.

Don't leave me hanging.

2011-04-16T03:33:00.000+08:00

I really dont like the feeling when you cant get to know smth that you want to know badly. But oh well, this is life. You can't get to know everything that you want to. Can't expect things to always go your way either.

I.need.to.change.

Ever?

2011-04-06T01:07:00.001+08:00

When will be the day i rest my worries and will always be sure that i won't be alone anymore?

I don't understand you.

2011-04-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

I know i'm not the best for you and all i wanna do is love you but im the only one to blame.
Goodbyes are meant for lonely people in the rain, and no matter where i go its always pouring all the same.
In my eyes, im screaming for a sight of you and tonight i'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through. And i can't hold on to you so i guess i'll be lonely too.
Suppose we were happy, suppose it was true and suppose there were cold nights but found out that waiting is worth.
I never wanted anything the way i want you, but my words doesnt seem to matter.
Now i sit alone, wishing all my feelings are gone. I gave my best to you.

Darlin' love.

2011-03-29T17:58:00.001+08:00

One word to describe how i'm feeling right now: Despondent.

All i need is someone that cares for me deep down from their heart. Like how i'd care for you.

To you, love.

2011-03-28T02:37:00.000+08:00

"Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you. I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you."

Anywhere you go, i'll be there.

2011-03-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

My heart needs to listen to me more :(
I've been keeping all my feelings to myself and i feel so stressed up..
Pls try not to talk to me if you dont intend to keep my heart.
I feel so horrible.. And no, sorry doesn't help.

I never thought i'd still feel this way,
I've no one to talk to.. Don't say that i can talk to you cause you might never know that you're the one that i like.

Stolen heart.

2011-03-22T23:24:00.001+08:00

Let go of what kills you and hold on to what keeps you breathing. And i guess to me, you're both. So, what i do from now?

Past.

2011-03-06T01:44:00.000+08:00

Lonely nights like this makes me think of the past. I know i shouldn't be looking back..

I know you still remember what we went through, all the hurt i've given you.

You ain't turning back and neither do i expect you to. I hope you're happy now.

You should know that i'm never good with words and i doubt you'll get to see this post but i do hope if you get to see this, you'll think back about those happy moments we had tgt though i know its just a really really really small part.

Alumni lunch!

2011-03-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

Been long.

2011-02-24T03:00:00.000+08:00

I'm so lazy to update this blog. Life hasn't been really interesting lately.
Anyway, I'm quite excited for poly to start but at the same time dreading to wake up so early everyday.

My throat is killing me. Cough sorethroat flu :(
Hate being sick!! :(((((

I don't really have much to say because i'm a boring person hahaha.
Actually, if want to know more about me you can follow me on twitter because i'm really active there hehe.
Just search my name and you'll be able to find me ^^

Wassup yo.

2011-01-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

Its 9 more months to my 18th birthday WOOHOOO
Anyway, life's great except for the emptiness i feel occasionally but oh well..
I believe it will get better :)
Got posted to NYP Sports & Wellness Management. Is anyone going to NYP too? ^^
And I'm really happy to see my juniors in sqss getting motivated. I felt the satisfaction.

I'm a happygirl, in a barbie world~~

2011-01-22T13:53:00.000+08:00

Just a quick post before i prepare and go out.

So happy i'm gonna take sqss for akltg on monday tuesday & wednesday.
Flea tomorrow, so excited ^^
We're friends, i'm happy enough..

So many happy things, how to be be happy hehehehehehe :D
Actually idk what am i talking about, but im happy HAHAHAHAHA.

Day by day.

2011-01-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

Day by day, i'm slowly letting you go.
Day by day, i'm also falling for you.

Life's short so why not take the chance to say whatever you want to say now.
Never be afraid to tell someone you love him/her because you won't know when will they be gone.
By then, its useless to regret because what's gone is gone.
So, start speaking your mind.

Wonder.

2011-01-20T03:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you really got me thinking....
Maybe you should make my life easier by just saying to the point.
I don't want to guess what you're trying to say because idw to misunderstand you.
Plsplspls speak your mind, whatever you're thinking about :(

~~False hope~~ True hope.

On the 31st of December 2010.

2011-01-17T03:28:00.002+08:00

A text from you'd be really good.

2011-01-17T00:59:00.001+08:00

Can't you understand that you're just irreplaceable. I don't know why did you say that.
Enlighten me pls?

Iamfineiamfineiamfineiamfineiamfineiamfineiamfine.
Iamhappyiamhappyiamhappyiamhappyiamhappy.

Just as simple.

2011-01-16T01:40:00.004+08:00

Do you remember?
Try - Asher book.

They say i'm sentimental, I say because you're the most amazing thing that've ever happen in my life. Because even if you ever do the most unglam thing on earth, i still love you the same. Thinking about everything that happened between us before makes me feel even more :(. I wish i could control my thinking. I wish i can forget about everything. ~~But most of all, i wish you're mine.~~

(U)

2011-01-16T01:13:00.001+08:00

If you ever ask me if i'm fine, i'd tell you that i am. But the fact is that i am not. I'd do anything for you, i'll protect you from being hurt even if its hurting me.

Grenade by Bruno Mars definitely suits what i'm feeling right now.

You.

2011-01-15T02:16:00.002+08:00

Just for you, its open to everyone now.

My deepest secret.

2011-01-15T00:13:00.001+08:00

Only if you know how much you mean to me.

You.

2010-11-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

I want to tell you what I'm feeling but I don't know where to start. I want to tell you something, but I'm afraid you'll break my heart.

formspring.me

2010-11-18T07:32:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/merabel

New beginning.

2010-10-03T13:39:00.000+08:00

No doubt im not able to forget about everything that happened. If its not meant to be, then so be it.

Os is in 22days. And im not studying :/

Shattered.

2010-09-11T06:15:00.002+08:00

I thought you love me, everyone thought so. Why did you lie. WHY. Why tell other ppl another story when its not the truth. Just because you want someone to side you? Sigh. I found out so many things today, i wished its a dream. When i wake up, everything will be fine and back to normal. I won't found out anything. Why do those things that you know i wouldnt like it. Why break your promises. Why why why. I've not cried so much for a long time. I thought i was strong enough. I didn't know i love you so much. I didn't know you did all those behind my back. I didn't know you would. You betrayed me, betrayed my trust, betrayed my love. I felt my heart broken into million of pieces. After all these, i still dont want you to leave. But i know we won't be happy together. I just have to be strong enough to cope when you're gone. I feel like ending everything; my life my everything. I don't want to do anything, i just want to not think of anything. I want to be happy. I won't be happy without you. No one will make me feel better. Nothing will. Its an understatement if i said i'm sad. Why, just why. I cannot take it, i feel like dying. No one can help me, except for myself. I will flunk my prelim2 and Os again. Sigh why oh why.

I wished you'll be happy. Much happier without me. Take care of yourself.

Like a you.

2010-08-30T16:44:00.000+08:00

This blog is so dead, dislike. Everyday online but never blog, bet you're too lazy to. Around one month plus to Os. Oh my oh my! Must really start studying ah you! Don't everyday watch tv already! Make sure you really study when you go night study, CANNOT ONLINE. If not I poke you ah! Jiayou okay? ♥

OH! You should really start sleeping early! Make it a habit. It's good for health! And you'll get stronger too! Like a me :D

I love you :D

Fever fever fever.

2010-08-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

So my temperature went up to 39.2.
And whats best? My mother came home to pass me the medicine and food and went out again.
Without taking care of me, leaving me all alone at home.
I lead a sad life. Its so uncomfortable that i kept crying. Thanks uh.
Am better now, went down by a lil.

Stricken.

2010-08-04T19:51:00.001+08:00

Blog is so dead.
Prelim1 is gonna end soon! Happy.
Last paper tomorrow.
Fever lasted for many days and is still here.

Anyway some things happened last week and i'm still not over it.
Bet i will never though.

To me you are perfect.

2010-07-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

Home early today. Didn't expect to pass chem as i didn't knew there was any test.
Ss seq test on thursday. I really suck at memorising :(
Prelim1 is starting in two weeks time, i'm not ready at all.
I feel so dumb.

Broken.

2010-07-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

Promise broken, lied to, trust broken. Totally broken.
Its smth so serious that i can't hold on anymore.
Whyyyyyy. Sigh.

So tired now. History seq test on monday.
Ss seq test on thursday. My memory isn't that good :(

Jiayou.

2010-06-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

First day back in school. Tiring.
I can't get used to not having air conditioning classroom.
Felt so unsafe with the doors open, and its so bright.
Have to get rid of all these and pay attention :(
Prelim1 is 1month away. On the 28th july. :(

Baby baby happy 3rd month. I love you<3.

Nothing.

2010-06-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

Done with scorer, after 4days.
Have not been sleeping enough for the past few days. So tired that i slept till 5pm.
Still feeling so tired.

Haven't started on my hw. Die.
Gonna start doing later i guess.

Tired.

2010-06-16T13:02:00.002+08:00

Sentosa and nanny mcphee ystd.
Face is so red and hurting so much now.

Its raining now, so nice to sleep but mummy chased me out of the room.
Because she's sick and doesn't want to spread it to me.

Anyway, next few days will be very tiring.
Doing scorer from thursday-sunday. Got to reach school at 5.30pm tomorrow.

All the way.

2010-06-13T03:43:00.000+08:00

So you see, I just realised baby helped me to blog.
How slow can I be? :(
Anyway, camp victory is finally over!!
No, it isn't time to play. No holidays. MUG!

I.CAN.DO.IT.

(L).

2010-06-07T21:28:00.000+08:00

This blog is dying. So I'm helping you to update baby.

Pig, I think you're getting more like an heavy sleeper already. 好学不学，为什么学我?! Think you really got influenced by me leh~ At least still not as heavy as me! You should stop trying to become a heavy sleeper!

Four more days of lessons to go baby. Must jiayou kay? :D I love you bby!

Gogogo.

2010-05-29T22:43:00.001+08:00

Been long since I last blogged.
Anyway, I've been wondering whose blog is soulofmydream. So whoever who came from the blog, kindly tell me whose is it ok? :)
And please help to click on my ad :D

Hey baby, I love you <3.

Lazy bum.

2010-05-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

Helping baby to blog cause her blog looks extremely dead. Anyway, bby passed her Humanities, Math, English and Chemistry! Clap clap! Waiting for Physics only. Won't pull down your Combined Science to F one okay! :D

Faster wake up! If not you later cannot sleep already! And sleeping early is not sleeping before 3am okay! WAKE UP. Heh heh. I love you :D

Midnight.

2010-05-15T00:09:00.002+08:00

I'm, someone VERY SPECIAL, helping baby to update her blog. Baby just left not long ago. And I'm starting to miss her already :( I think baby's fingers are filled with Jackfruit's and Durian's smell. Smell your own fingers baby. I had durian earlier than you! Hahaha!

I won't think about things that I shouldn't baby. Same goes for you. Cannot anyhow think! I like the way you responded when you see me cry. I like how sensitive you are. You can still see through me even though I'm putting on a strong front. I love you baby. And I'll be in bed until 1300 like what you just said. Heh heh :)

blogging after midnight is getting more and more torturing baby. I've not be doing this for quite a long time already! Okay, shall blog till here!! Love love.~

POKE.

2010-05-12T22:04:00.001+08:00

:( . Exams are over for baby, envy! Baby, I don't mind if you wanna come and find me everyday during the Chinese Intensive period! You must not sleep for that one whole week. If not you'll become a pig. Opps, I forgot you are one already.

Hahaha, going to see how long you take to realise that this post is posted up. Shall go study now! Three more papers to go! :( I want sleep. HEH HEH. I love you. And, no more Quater Pounder / Half Pounder for this week and next week!

Midyear.

2010-05-08T00:05:00.001+08:00

Everyone's complaining about poly life. It isn't as easy as they thought it is.
They said it was more stressful than Os. But i'm already feeling so stressed by Os.
I can't cope. I feel like a loser.
I must learn to love science and ch. No more F9s.

Done with ss and there's history on monday. Help!! :(
I always procrastinate and rush at the very last minute.

Buck up buck up buck up.

Bbbbbb♥

2010-05-03T00:30:00.003+08:00

My both arms are hurting so much, its so red :(
Went to take aloe vera gel, mum saw and laughed at me.
I can't sleep properly cause it hurts.
Virgin tan ok hahahaha. (don't laugh baby!!!)
I have two blueblacks on my hands and i cant even hold the pen properly.
:(

I will cherish you because i don't want to regret not doing so.
Bby i'm yours so don't worry about losing me.
I won't allow anyone to snatch you away and no one will be able to separate us.
We'll walk hand-in-hand till the end, ♥

Scary.

2010-04-26T20:52:00.002+08:00

Blackout while bathing in the morning.
Its so scary. Its like now i'm bathing and the next thing i know, i'm already on the floor.
Went to see the doctor and got 5different types of medicine :(
2nd time already, if it happens again i've to go hospital for checkup or smth.

Ok i have to go eat my medicine now and go to sleep early.
Or else someone will naggggggggggggggggggggg~
HEHE :D

BUCK UP.

2010-04-25T17:09:00.003+08:00

Its just 1week away from midyear, i'm so not prepared.
I think i won't pass any subjects :(
Buck up buck up buck up.

Saving money to buy itouch.
Idk when will i ever save enough to buyyyyyyyyy.
Baby we must jiayou tgt ok :)
I know you miss me hehe, but you'll see me tomorrow.
Don't shyshy uh hahaha :D

Keep fighting.

2010-04-23T23:23:00.002+08:00

Rabbit chocolate from marriott singapore. Its nice! Btw i took a bite to taste if its nice hahaha.
Its all edible, including the carrot! :D

Had a wonderful time tdy with baby :) Be honoured k!!!!!!
Hehe and baby stop making me 傻笑 to myself.
I love you. Remember that no one will be able to replace you :)

♥

2010-04-18T21:47:00.004+08:00

Just finished doing english and mailed it.
The deadline was 6pm today hahaha :/
History and ss tomorrow omg.
Ss essay test was supposed to be tomorrow, but changed to fri instead.
Privilege :D
Midyear is nearing and i've alot alot more to study :(

Baby you're really a noob hahahahaha.
And the bus incident, super funny :P
Like seriously hahahaha.
Ok shall stop disturbing you..... for now only! :D
Baby don't be afraid to tell me anything ok, cause i'll still be here no matter what hehe.
I love you :)

My baby,

2010-04-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Watched Ju on @ marina square ystd.
I'll rate it 3/5. Not that nice and not very scary.

Midyear is coming, and i'm not prepared at all :(
I need more time mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Baby, i won't leave you. Leaving you is more than what i can handle.
We still have so much things we've yet to do tgt.
No one would ever treat me as good as you do :)
Even though you don't know how to express your feelings through words, but baby i know you love me.
I'll be here for you whenever you need me :)
Ok shall not say anymore, the rest is only for you to hear hehe :D

You mean the world to me.

2010-04-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

Baby i love you, and you know that really well.
No words can ever explain the love i have for you.
Thankyou for making the effort to come to my house early in the morning, so that you'll be the first person i see when i wake up.
Baby, you're the best to me and i love only you, so don't worry about losing me alright? :)
I don't care how others may look or say about us, you're just the one for me.
And love, it's just between the both of us.
I love the way you cared about me, love the way you take care of me. I love you just the way you are.
I love you even though you're a noob at expressing your feelings. (You really suck at that :P)

And our small little secrets, keep it safe within us only ok? :D

:D

2010-04-03T01:21:00.007+08:00

Went marina square for team dinner just now, seoul garden.

Saw someone i'm not supposed to see? Its all over already anyway.

Then to singapore flyer. Cabbed home and reached home at 11pm.

We've graduated but we'll still come back to train/play with you all :)

Must train hard ok, top4 for nationals next year!!

You all may not see us during training, but will still see us in school :)

(L)

2010-03-28T01:44:00.004+08:00

Ok i didn't go for the last trng, felt gulity :/
Monday is our last match tgt, and we'll be graduated..
Oh man, there will be tears for sure. :(
We all have smth in common, and that's volleyball. Our passion :D
We will go to np tgt and be teammates again :D (hopefully)
And lastly, i love all of you^^

Of course, i love you too. So don't be jealous alright :)
I'm changing my phone lock, i think you'll know what is it hehe.
You're mine <3.

Heh.

2010-03-18T23:48:00.004+08:00

Trng today was tiring :( Wasn't feeling well at all.
Anyway we ordered pasta mania delivery, the total sum actually adds up to $75.
Spammed chilli and ended up with hot hot stomach :(
Studied for awhile then changed and warm up for friendly against the malaysia team.
And if i'm not wrong, we won all the sets.
I was so tired but when humairah reminds me of the (yknow yknow)^^, i became energetic hahaha.
And also the *machine gun* HAHAHAHA funny ttm.
Went to cut hair after training, i look like cuckoo now :(
Trng tomorrow, friendly on sat with hongkong police team. Weird but yeah.
Match on tues against dunman~

I'm happy that we're ok now.
I missed you so much, don't let this happen again ok? :(
You mean a whole lot to me baby.
And i love you (:
PS: You have to stop bitting and bullying me!
PS2: WAHAHAHA IDK WHAT TO SAY.
Hahah ok la i so good leh, NEH bully you :)

Broken into pieces.

2010-03-17T23:33:00.001+08:00

I'm hurting so much that i choose not to care.
Maybe one day when i can't take it anymore, i'd just walk away.

Maybe we should give this love up.

When will the day come.

2010-03-17T12:25:00.005+08:00

Hate the feeling when head is thumping, world is spinning and sight is blurry. :(
Oh man, there's trng tomorrow friday and sat.
My stomach is in pain, or rather i am.
:(

Tired.

2010-03-11T20:00:00.001+08:00

So tied down by volleyball and studies.
4days trng during march holidays :(
Tues thurs fri sat.
How to survive, will be so damn tired.

:]

2010-03-07T01:32:00.002+08:00

Others may say we aren't compatible, but i don' t care what they will say.
They may look at us with such disdain, but i don't care what they'll think or feel.
What matters most is the love i have for you because love is between only the both of us.
:)

Trust me cause i trust you with my heart.

2010-03-04T20:47:00.003+08:00

So there's match tomorrow and trng on saturday.
Am so tired :(

"I’m not perfect; I’ll annoy you, tick you off, say stupid things and then take them back, but, put that all aside, you’ll never find anyone else that cares or loves you more than me."

Broken and tired.

2010-03-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

Lost th match against xms. 2-1.
The score was very close.

I feel like a loser cause i failed every sub except for math.
I studied ok, sian.

Training tomorrow and match on friday against yuying.
Oh mannnnnnnnn.

End of common test.

2010-02-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

Yay CT is over.
First match of nationals is on monday! Vs xms.
Trng tomorrow, oh mannnn..
I dread trainings :(

:)

formspring.me

2010-02-26T23:43:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/merabel

Common test.

2010-02-21T18:06:00.003+08:00

My blog is so dead, i don't really care anyway.
Common test starts tomorrow and i'm not studying still.
No mood.
Been so long since i felt this way.

9months.

2010-02-07T21:55:00.001+08:00

Going to school tomorrow! Quite excited actually hahah.
Its 10 and i'm going to sleep soon.
I think i'm going to be sick :(
Feeling so uncomfortable.

Shawty's like a melody in my head.

2010-02-05T23:03:00.004+08:00

Hahah i'm still blogging even though there's only 2person invited and one uninvited person :@
Training tomorrow, 830-530:(
Can't go watch yvonne dance hahaha.

The previous post is definitely not by me, its as irritating as the person who post it^^
Ok i shall stop saying her or else she wouldn't update my blog for me anymore again:)
SEEEEE, i'm nice too :D

I can remind things well via sms

2010-02-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Hi this is xiao chan here, don't have to know who but this merabitch made me update for her since 2 days ago. Its past 12am now kk. And I don't know what she wants me to update so I'll just be random. Anyway nobody reads this cos they're only 2 invited guests to this blog?! Shout with me now! Oh my goodness.

Kk anyway xiao mermer is going back to shuqun to study wor hehe. I bet it'll be another wasted year hehe kk lah don't so bad. Even if I think so, also must lie! Kk hmm. Cfm pass with flying colors. Wanna bet?! I'll place 1000$ bet on 'I disagree'. Hehe kk is this long enough! Bye xoxo.

Everything.

2010-01-31T10:11:00.001+08:00

Town later! :D
Have been feeling really tired these few days, no idea why too.

I feel so noob cause i don't even know how to balance equations.
Thats how bad my chem is :(

Another year.

2010-01-28T02:19:00.003+08:00

I've decided to retake Os. Really have to study hard.
I will conquer science! Mark my words, i'm gonna get at least c6 for science.
Ok c6 may be easy for you guys, but those who knows me, my science knowledge is like 2%?

Will update this post again.

Pains me.

2010-01-25T01:35:00.007+08:00

I don't know what to do to cheer you up.

Idw to see you cry, not when i'm not there to lend my shoulder for you to cry on.

Be happy, cause i will too if you are.

When i create a group in fb and no one joins, its not because i'm lousy, its just because i'm special and unique. :)

Kaykay.

2010-01-22T03:53:00.003+08:00

I've been watching Chick vs. Dick since just now.
Its challenges between Kaykay and Paul Twohill. There's like 53episodes.
Its somehow M18 or rather R21 depending on the episode.
Its kinda SICK too, so if you have a clean mind, pls do not watch it.
(Ps: Its just what they say, they don't show like sexual scenes, so don't worry)

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT FOR FAINT HEARTS! DON'T SCOLD ME AFTER WATCHING THE VIDEOS!
http://www.clicknetwork.tv/watch.aspx?c=1&p=13&v=169
http://www.clicknetwork.tv/watch.aspx?c=1&p=13&v=171
Ok this two links above^ its definitely R21.

I (L) Kaykay. Not love love kind of love, just (L)
I think she's pretty/cute/hot. :)

Its 21st jan!

2010-01-21T01:39:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone, i've deleted those links that are not in use anymore.
Tag to be link :)

I'm starting to panic cause i haven't received any calls regarding jpsae.
And if i don't get into poly, i would probably go back to school and retake Os.
I don't feel like going to higher nitec :(

Ok, my head is killing me. I think i'm dying soon.
My body clock is wrong, i sleep when ppl wakes up.
I feel like vomitting but there's nothing to vomit cause i have not ate anything.
Everytime i stand up, i have to stop for awhile to 'clear my vision' so i'm able to walk properly.
And no, i didn't consult a doctor because i'm too lazy to.

When will you realise that i'm here for you no matter what.
I choose to not say a word, i wish for your happiness.

Time.

2010-01-18T23:14:00.006+08:00

I got no other photos to upload except this.

I swear this is damn gayyyyyyyyyyyyy. Got forced like dk what!!
Yvonne, you better not laugh at me when you see this picture.
Or else, i post your picture up also! HAHAHAHA!

I'm so lazy to update and my blog is dead.
Hello everyone, if you're reading this, please tag!!!
Help me keep alive this dead blog :)

Ok nothing much, hoping for the best now.
Look forward to my next post! :D

4more days.

2010-01-07T03:24:00.002+08:00

In 2010, i will be diagnosed with a terminal illness.
-fb quiz.

5more days.

2010-01-06T15:49:00.002+08:00

Lets countdown to hell. 5 more days!!
C'mon everybody, lets die together! :)
I wanna wanna pass my Os. Wanna wanna~

Ok i have to quickly get out of my house because my mum's nagging at me!
Why don't you understand i want to take my results first before finding work!
Argh damn it! So irritated right now :(

2010.

2010-01-02T20:59:00.010+08:00

New year was fun i supposed?

Went vivo>raffles link>golden mile>suntec>marina sqaure>raffles link.

Didnt slept for more than 36hours. So slept for more than 12hours today! :)

My eyes are getting smaller and smaller due to lack of sleep! :(

High fever, 39.1. Sad case.

School's starting, i wished i can go to school too :(

Though have to wake up early, but its ok with me!
I miss secondary school life. :(

I wanna study now, but its abit too late.

2010? My only wish,

PASS OLEVELS!

Nearing.. :S

2009-12-30T01:45:00.005+08:00

Is this taken on purpose?? :O

Christmas eve! (:

Life is quite sad for me haha. One moment i feel this and another moment i feel another way.

Well, life still has to go on. Bow down to reality hahah.

Ok i think i've gone crazy, its 2am and i feel high. Suddenly :O

I feel scared for the release of the Os results:(

If i cry on that day, must hug me ok! (applies to all who's reading this)

I can literally feel how anxious/afraid i will be feeling when i walk up to the teacher and take the slip from her,

And see the paper! Scared scared scared :S

Merry merry christmas!

2009-12-25T16:14:00.005+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Went west coast early in the morning ystd. Then to town and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks2.
Bought tickets for Peony and we watched the same movie in the same theatre but quite far away.
She said she's happy to see me! HAHAHA! :D
Walked and walked and home-d at 7plus.

I swear this is super gay! TTM.

Am going mia.

Best wishes for you.

2009-12-23T15:04:00.004+08:00

Went for camp from 18-21dec. Had a fun time there :)
Sometimes i hope that the camp would never end so i'll not have to face the same problems anymore.

Everything just collapses in a day, hope happiness and so on.
Whatever it is, i will get over it. I shall not dwell on it anymore.
Life's like this isn't it/

L4d2!!!!!

2009-12-18T03:37:00.002+08:00

L4d2 for two days~
Went to cut hair just now, i look like some cuckooooooooo now.
Ok its going 4am now, so tired!
I'm not gonna online till monday. Miss me please HAHAHA.

妈妈骑马，马慢，妈妈骂马！

C.R.Q

2009-12-15T22:48:00.004+08:00

Meeting fernanda and amanda at illuma at 3pm tomorrow~
Gonna l4d2, yay! :)
I feel so sad now, will be so lonely this weekend :(
Anyone wanna accompany me? :'(

Someone that will fight for me and not with me.

I'll still wait.

2009-12-14T21:18:00.002+08:00

Went to marina sqaure on sat, surprised fernanda!! Hahah.
Esplanade to slack, missed the last train. Waited for celestine's father to fetch them home.
Then cabbed home with fernanda.
Finals ystd, lost 3-1. Good match though.
Went to eat then slack. Cabbed to jurong east and train-ed home.
Been reaching home late these few days..

Gonna L4d2 on wednesday with fernanda amanda and anwar at Cineleisure. :D
Now that there's no more U19 matches, its getting s boring.
Fernanda and amanda have trainings and is going for U17 at malaysia on friday :( :( :(
Gonna be so lonely, awwww~
Sigh, will miss you both know! HAHAHA.

Looking forward.

2009-12-12T05:01:00.004+08:00

Won 2-0. Went to eat steamboat with amanda anwar fernanda and her family.
Been so long since i've eaten.
Training later at 12pm, then home to change and to esplanade.

Hope and prays that we can get into finals :(

Put a distance between.

2009-12-11T16:06:00.004+08:00

Match later, against yuying.
I don't feel like a normal human being. I sleep at the time when ppl wakes up.
I feel like im a walking zombie.
Slept for less than 2hours. Don't feel hungry.
I feel like crying :(

Right, im staying away from everyone. I feel so dejected..
I wished i don't have to think about it. Thinking of it makes me worse.
I want to be happy, who doesn't?

I want you by my side.
I don't only want a friend's concern from you.

Greatly affected..

2009-12-11T01:19:00.008+08:00

Won the match today 2-0.
Its just how amazing i survived two days with just eating 3/4 hotdog without the bread and not feel hungry at all.
I had a hard time eating the hotdog ok, just cause i have to take medicine.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me!!!!
Have not been getting enough sleep these few days, i feel so tiredddd. Both mentally and physically.

--

(23:32) chubby_shin@hotm:
haha! dont bluff! you jieqiu, saqiu, kaiqiu all very cute. den wanchew oso say! haha if gracy in singapore she will say you look lyk winnie the pooh again!
(23:33) MerabelLYS :
Hahah where will cute!!
(23:34) chubby_shin@hotm:
cute what! you see yourself lorh. next time when u play you put a mirror there
(23:34) MerabelLYS :
My expression?
(23:36) chubby_shin@hotm:
haha ya! and your actions. hehe.

YASMIN, I DON'T AGREE OK! WHATS WITH MY EXPRESSION AND MY ACTIONS?!!!!!! TSK.

--

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERNANDA! LOVE YOU!! :)

I still have to smile and laugh to pretend that i'm ok when i'm not.
Its tough. And if i don't, ppl will ask if i'm ok. And i only can say, yes i am ok.
Cheer up, thats what everyone says. If only doing is as easy as saying.
Not that i want to make anyone be worried about me.
Where were you when i needed you th most.

Its not easy.

2009-12-10T00:25:00.006+08:00

Life's like this isn't it?
Everyone only cares about their own feelings.
Like who fucking cares about how i feel.
I've lots of problems, who knows? Who can understand how i feel.

Amanda said, "Go for the one that'll fight for you, not the one that'll fight with you."

But i guess no one will fight for me? I wouldn't know it too.
How i wish i can go MIA.

2009-12-09T03:25:00.007+08:00

I SUCK.

I'm sorry.

2009-12-09T00:30:00.004+08:00

I'm so lazy to update, but im here still.
Jocelyn woke me up at 5.25am cause she has nightmare!
Because of the movie 2012!! Hahaha.
Met ruiqi at serangooooooooooooon. And went to her house.
Ps i love you + ponyo :)
HAHA YOU'RE SCARED OF TICKLE! *EVIL SMILE
And you've to stop shooting me! :(

Match tomorrow at 745pm againist huayi.

To, You.
You told me when you heard i like someone else, the feeling suck so.
Sorry but i really really don't think we will work out. I'm sorry for hurting you.
No matter what it is, im still here if you need someone to share your problems with.
I give you my word that i'll still reply.

Its getting complicated.

2009-12-08T01:37:00.002+08:00

Lost the match today, 2-1.
But we are in the finals! If we managed to to win all other teams.
And i realised picking ball is damn fun. We keep trying to roll it on the straight line.
Super fail, but i still managed to roll afew balls! :)

Someone wake me up at 530am pleaseeeeeee. :(
I'm afraid i can't wake up. I'm damn tired.

Too torn to do anything.

2009-12-06T05:16:00.004+08:00

I feel the pain in my heart. How i wish i was her.
If i was her, i'd never left you.
I would hold your hand and tell your mum i wanna marry you.
I'm serious.

Jealous, was that what i felt when i know about it?
I wished i know you earlier.

Close shaveee~

2009-12-04T02:19:00.002+08:00

Training today, 3 to 5pm.
Went jurongpoint to eatttt then went for match.
Against Unity, we won 2-1. But the score is damn close.
They was leading at 13-9, it went to 14-11. And we won with the score of 17-15.
Its damn scary to play at the crucial pointsssssssss. One mistake and you will lose the match.
We was veryyyy happy when we win k, as though we're playing finals.
Jump for joy, hug everyonee~

Next monday will be playing against phs alumni. Hope for the best :)

Tell her, if you rlly like her and want her.

2009-11-30T22:43:00.003+08:00

*You should always say how you feel, I think. Because, if there is a rejection then that is the worst case scenario and you’ll learn and grow from it. I would say go for it, you can’t always protect yourself from getting hurt and as much as it stinks it’s apart of life… I would rather get hurt going after something I want, than get hurt wishing I had.

I'm sorry i can't read minds or do stuff exactly how you want me to. Don't pout anymore and neither would i allow you to go MIA and not reply me! You're incredibly awesome and you know that right? :)

Lotz of lurf,
Rayray~

Cause its so saddening.

2009-11-27T18:35:00.006+08:00

I think i will ignore all texts and calls from my phone. Except for my mum's call.
Cause its the best way out. Till when? I do not know.
When time comes, i will start replying again. Every single thing is stressing me out.
I don't feel happy, i'm sad. No one knows. No one can understand.
I'm blocking out everything, every single thought of you.

And yati has gone to work for someone else. :(

No one will help me to open the door when i go out and come back anymore.
No one will help me to find my things when i could not find them anymore.
No one will nag at me when i messed up my cardboard and asked me to tidy it but will do it herself.
No one will prepare my food for me anymore.
No one will ask me to not eat infront of the com anymore.
No one will talk to her bf and asked me not to tell my mother anymore.
No one will go downstairs and asked me what i want to buy anymore.
No one will help me to find my clothes and fold it nicely and put it into my bag for me anymore.
No one will ask me to wake her up when she take a nap secretly anymore.
And the list goes on and on...

I tidied the bed today for the first time of my 16years. I've to keep and fold the clothes so that my mother wouldn't have to do so much.
Even before i was born, i have a maid. I don't have to worry about anything. I don't have to do anything on my own. And i've become so dependent on maids.

Now i have to rely on my own, cause no one will be there to help me anymore.
I'll be left alone at home, no one for me to talk to. No one for me to disturb.
The emptiness suck, and i feel like crying now :'(

Cause every second with you is a bonus.

2009-11-26T18:06:00.003+08:00

Someone is going to skudai tomorrow, i'll miss you :(
Ok i thought that Skudai was in china k! So malu hahah.
You better come back in one piece! :D

U19 training on saturday at 10am!
First match is on 1st dec.
Should i go hiatus?